hrmm, wordpress completely changed tha dashboard layout so it took me awhile to configure myself again.

it’s funny… i used to be so passionate about life, about finding my true love and being with that special someone. lately however i have found myself reduced to almost nothing-ness. i accept a passionless relationship for the sake of how much i like someone and yes, i perhaps suffer from it because it will always be an internal conflict if something in my life is devoid of passion. passion is and has always been something i have tried to fill my life with.

i don’t want to take things granted so i try to think, live each day like it’s your last. but then it’s really difficult for me to do because i need to plan things ahead of time. why else should i strive for these damn A’s in pharmacy school ?? to get a residency 2 years down the road from now……

it’s so hard to live like that. but at the same time i want to live in the moment and not regret any decisions i make. you know, live life to the fullest..

so a quesiton i like to ask people when i’m drunk is : if you could be anywhere, where would you be right now? i find some amusing answers to that question. answers to that question show me a lot about how a person thinks and gives me a light into what type of person they are. :) so what would you say if i asked you where you could be right now??

faceless

even though i knew you weren’t there, i kept looking for you in the crowd of endless faces because i so desperately wanted you to be there.

i wanted you to be there so i could show you how i felt. it’s true; i’m getting tired of showing you how much i want this to work out that i’m on the verge of just letting go. such is my nature; i get tired fast of things that don’t go my way. i’m impatient, and i’ve always been. passion is strong and intense at first but unfortunately sometimes short lived when not returned as the same level.

*sigh, everyone says we’re good for one another but sometimes i wonder if it’s true. such doubts are not good for the sake of you and i. i need some reassurance soon, but i dont’ believe i’m going to get that vulnerable state of you anytime soon. i need it…i’m losing faith and drive to fight for it…

JUST BREATHE

Today honestly started off very badly. First, my tattoo artist did NOT have my art work ready which kind of disappointed me, but that was mainly my fault because I was the one who put my own hopes up that high to be let down.


Then I came home to find some arrogant Lexus SUV parked in MY spot, and I left a friendly note to tell them to move their car within the hour. They did not, so I called the towing company to tow it, but by the time the tow truck came the Lexus had left!! And also I saw my friendly note (written on a Starbucks napkin) LITTERED on the ground. That pissed me off extremely, because I care about the environment and also it just seemed like such an arrogant-I-don’t-give-a-crap-about-anyone-else type of move. UGH! So that really ruined the day for me.


Luckily I dragged myself out to go watch the Spazmatics at Cedar St. tonight and we acutally got a spot dead center front row and Al was nice enough to take pictures with us. Toward the end of the night, Sanchez (the most awesome bartender at Cedar St.!!!) started giving us shots that tasted awesome and that he favored for FREE!!!! =)

Then I got really drunk and Brother henry WU drove us to get food at HOMESLICE which was closed and now I’m at home, still drunker than ever.



Sleep awaits. It’s funny how life can change so quickly from bad to good to bad to mediocre to bad to good etctec. I think we just need to learn to *JUST BREATHE* in bad situations and think positively.



Good night and I am out because I need to wake tomorrow for AWESOME FLIP HAPPY,
!VIVI

Hmm…

it plagues us like a blinding death. Why do humans suffer from infatuation? It’s healthy but so much more unhealthy. It ticks away at your soul for no apparent reason, and in the end nothing is changed. You are just left there with empty false hopes and feeling like someone scraped the insides out of you without anesthesia.

This week has been bad. Negative thoughts haunt me, even in my dreams. This string of nightmares really must come to an end.

P.S. I’m drunk….do I sound more philosophical when inebriated? Possibly so..

why

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY i dont get it

………… wtf……. WHY!!!!!!!